Tuesday, July 28, 2009

flow



We recently had a couple who lives nearby over for breakfast. Considering the fact that they are organic food activists sharing chemical farming country with us, they live amazingly nearby – 2 miles to be exact. When we met, they were scheduled to come on a Monday night, but as is our routine, we were outside most of the day Monday and didn’t receive their phone call. By the time we did get in touch, she had gone swimming and preferred to push our get together to Tuesday morning.

“She went up to the park and got in the swimming pool,” our new friend said, “and now she’s kind of flowing with that and would rather wait until tomorrow.”

Two other times, he had mentioned this flowing into this or that. I smiled. They are true hippies, I thought. But they’re also passionate about organic foods and food activism. It will be fine.

But then over the week, I sat on this concept of flowing in the back of my mind where funny ideas take shape into real, concrete realizations and learning. I realized that I am breathing again out here, really breathing. The drowning, choking, suffocating that had become synonymous with life itself in the city…it’s gone. Deep breathing is the norm now.

And I saw clearly how the people around me who still farm or in any way live off their land truly are on “country time.” It’s not a myth. There are commitments to be made, and time schedules to be kept, here and there. But most of the time people are home, there is no time schedule besides the weather-dictated one, and late, early, and on-time blur into a big window of time allowance. I am by nature well suited to that kind of schedule.

So this week I’ve been practicing allowing myself to flow based on my mood, my interests, and the needs of our family. Mama’s been happy. So have the kids.

Sassy and I are planning to take classes to join the Catholic Church this fall. She attended Vacation Bible School at the Baptist Church down the road this week. She had a wonderful time! It was so fun to watch her come home each night excited about what she had learned. I’m determined to be sure she has regular activities like this throughout the school year as well.

I went down to watch the end-of-VBS performance and slide show with the other parents last night. It was funny. It brought back so many of my own VBS memories, most happy, some stomach-churning, though I couldn’t place my finger on why. Maybe stage fright? But it also cemented my decision to pursue the conversion to Catholicism and take the RCIA (Rites of Christian Initiation for Adults) classes. The fact is, I feel closer to God and more on-track with my spiritual learning inside the traditions, rites & yes even rules of the Catholic Church than I do in the Protestant Churches. I can’t explain it better than that, and I certainly don’t mean it to disparage my Protestant upbringing and the many Protestant ministers that have meant a lot to my spiritual growth.

Sometimes, however, answers and feelings and directions are so clear, you can’t deny them, no matter how far they are outside your little comfortable box. To me, it’s always been the same God, same Bible, what’s the big deal about differences? I’m beginning to understand how different the practice of worship can be, even when it is directed at the same God. And the craziest part is that the one I grew up with isn’t the one that keeps me focused.

So we’ve been watching these little Catholic videos for kids about different saints as part of Sassy’s “Little Flower Girls” club. We’ve watched one about St. Therese and one about St. Catherine. One of the two saints told her parents that she wasn’t going to eat much of her food anymore so she could give it to the poor. Later, she went on to become a nun and dedicate her life to God, but one of her first acts of sacrifice had been to give up part of her food each day.

Well, I made roasted vegetables on Wednesday night. I cut up potatoes, onions, yellow squash, sweet banana peppers and garlic cloves, drizzled them with olive oil, and roasted them in the oven. Sassy turned up her nose when they came out and decided she only wanted the potatoes. I told her she could not pick through the serving plate for just the potatoes, leaving all the rest. But I’d be happy to give her a bowl of her own and she could eat them however she wished.

About 20 minutes later, I asked her if she was finished with her roasted vegetables. “No,” she said, “I want to be like St. Catherine, Mommy. I want to give my food to the poor.” I smiled, amused, and told her that was fine, to get ready for bed.

I went to the table to put her food away and saw that she had eaten all the potatoes out and left just her squash and onions and peppers for “the poor.”

“Hey!” I said, “All the poor get are your squash and onions? If you want to give all your food to the poor, let’s give them the suckers and Tootsie Rolls that grandpa keeps buying for you, hmmm???”

To my challenge, she replied, “Well, then the poor wouldn’t be very healthy, Mommy.”

I can’t laugh when she says this stuff because it makes her mad, but I couldn’t stop giggling on the inside. I guess she’s been listening all along. Say what you will about squash and onions, but they are healthier than suckers and Tootsie Rolls.

And our pictures for the day...

We set up our guest house to be sure all was in order:



This lovely critter was attacking my tomatoes. She's a hornworm and she had quite a vicious looking horn atop her head, well...for a bug. She's carrying her eggs on her back.



Our kindest of the new chickens, Lemon, the light-brown Buff Orpington, was the winner of the hornworm snatching contest.



More Sky Masiela

Saturday, July 11, 2009

cool rainy days of july



Ha ha! I never thought I'd say that in the same sentence in our area!

It's true - we've had a wet and cool July thus far. Even our fireworks party on the 4th was a complete wash-out. We have some very (very) dear friends who braved the torrent to hang out with us anyway, making it not nearly as disappointing as it could have been.

The past week, I've had 3 big projects on high priority. Our new DECK was the biggest, but we got it mostly completed by last weekend. It is wonderful and makes all the difference in the world out here. I remember my good friend Lara asking me not too long ago if I had even one place in the whole house where I could go and enjoy myself rather that seeing more to-do's for my endless lists. I honestly had to answer, "No." Well, the deck is it. I can gaze out at all we have accomplished rather than what still needs to be done. The deck is the one spot I find very manageable to keep clean. Plus, the outside air does the soul good. Simple as that.

I've also been focused on tending the garden. We're starting to be able to harvest, which is great. It also adds some more work to the game. :-) We have some yellow squash, some peppers and some cukes already hitting the table. We also have many unripe veggies fruiting, like tomatoes, watermelons, and beans. We have some VERY hot jalapenos already drowning us, so if you like hot hot hot peppers, please let me know!

Then there's this raised flower bed I've been working on for what feels like forever that still needs attention. I keep getting to it a little at a time. I was able to finally plant the flowers last night. This was so exciting for me since I could mark it off that mental to-do list already! It still has some filling in to do, but at least my poor poor flowers that have been sitting nearly root-bound in their pots for 3 weeks now are able to stretch and breathe in the damp fresh soil. "Ahhh...." you could almost hear them sigh. (Not really, but I sure did.)

And then there's Sassy. We're settling down, me and Sassy. I'm realizing that she's still a little bitty in so many ways and she still needs more of me than I've been giving her. And my little Magpie is growing up way too fast! She's 6 months today. Today! ---Zoom--- went those six months, right out the window amidst mountains of to-do lists that seem to reproduce while I'm sleeping.

A needy Sassy and a big baby made me stop. Finally. And take a break. Finally. I've limited myself to one hour-ish long project per day on my lists. After that, I can do more if I want to, or I can sit back on my new deck and simply enjoy my life and my children. I'm running about 50/50 right now on whether I choose to tackle something else beyond that one big project. Again, I have Lara to thank for this one. I called her complaining that I'd gotten nearly nothing done on my list of 15 items.

"I've been up for 5 hours and I've only crossed off 4 items," I cried.

"Did you feed the kids?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Laundry?"

"Yes."

"Dishes?"

"Yes."

"You've accomplished more than you think. Your list is just too long!" she told me.

Smart lady, that Lara is.

Jeff and I broke down and bought Blackberry handhelds so that we could have a little internet at home. A LITTLE, as in just enough to keep in touch but not enough to tempt us into spending all day avoiding work and cruising craigslist or mothering.com instead. I have many pictures on my Blackberry that I'd love to add to this entry, but I don't know how! I will try to figure it out today, I promise, so I can put some visuals with the words. Though I might try to write well and respect the value of writing, nothing can compare to a chubby little cheeky baby on her 6-month birthday.

I love you all and I'm sorry if I've been a little busy this week to do my usual facebook and email responses. I've been focused on this deck and probably will be next week too. But I think of you all often and can't wait to see you in person. For my group friends, that will be this Friday. Much love!

At Kathryn's House:



Second dental cleaning ever (afterward, she said, "That was actually kind of fun.):



Our rainy Fourth of July party:



Happy Half-Birthday Magpie!